【问与答】我要如何让自己摆脱爱的痛苦？
照片：英国布洛克伍德公园学校主楼的起居室
Questioner: I have fallen in love, but I know there is no future to this relationship. It is a situation I have experienced several times before and I don't want to get involved again in all that misery and chaos. Yet I am desperately unhappy without this person. How can I get myself out of this state?
提问者：我恋爱了，但是我知道这段关系没有未来。这种情形我以前经历过几次，我不想再卷入其中，卷入痛苦和混乱之中。可是没有这个人，我会非常不快乐。我要如何让自己摆脱这种状态？
KRISHNAMURTI: The loneliness, bleakness, wretchedness you feel without this person you love existed before you fell in love. What you call love is merely stimulation, the temporary covering-up of your emptiness. You escaped from loneliness through a person, used this person to cover it up. Your problem is not this relationship but rather it is the problem of your own emptiness. Escape is very dangerous because, like some drug, it hides the real problem. It is because you have no love inside you that you continually look for love to fill you from the outside. This lack of love is your loneliness, and when you see the truth of this you will never again try to fill it with things and people from outside.
克里希那穆提：没 有你所爱的这个人，你所感到的那种孤独、绝望和悲惨，在你恋爱之前就存在了。你所谓的爱，只不过是一种刺激，暂时掩盖了你的空虚。你通过某个人来逃避孤 独，利用这个人来掩盖孤独。你的问题并不在于这段关系，而在于你自身的空虚。逃避非常危险，因为它就像某些药物一样，将真正的问题隐藏了起来。正是因为你 内心没有爱，所以你不停地从外面寻找爱来填满自己。这种爱的缺乏就是你的孤独，而当你看到这个真相，你就再也不会试图用外在的人或事来填补了。
There is a difference between understanding the futility of this escape and deciding not to get involved in this kind of relationship. A decision is no good because it strengthens the thing you are deciding against. Understanding is quite different. Decision is suppression, violence, conflict, but to see that there is this loneliness, this emptiness inside yourself and that any action whatever on the part of the observer to change it only strengthens it―that is understanding. Even calling it loneliness is an action of the observer to get rid of it. Such action changes nothing, it merely strengthens the loneliness, but complete inaction with regard to this loneliness is change. It is going beyond feeling and thinking, sidestepping them. Whatever is happening inside you―anger, depression, jealousy or any other conflict at all―drop it instantly. Stop it.
了 解逃避的无益，与决心不再卷入这种关系，是不同的。下决心毫无益处，因为它会增强你决心反抗的东西。而了解则截然不同。决心是压抑、暴力和冲突；而看到内 心存在这种孤独、这种空虚，并且看到观察者想要对它进行任何改变的行为，都只会增强它――这是了解。甚至称它为孤独，都是观察者想要摆脱的一种行为。这样 的行为什么都改变不了，只会增强孤独，但对这孤独彻底的不行动就是改变。这种改变超越了感情和思想，绕过了感情和思想。你内心无论发生着什么――愤怒、绝 望、嫉妒或者其他任何冲突――即刻丢下它，停止它。
Meeting Life, 'Love, Sex and the Religious Life'
《与生活相遇》之"爱、性及宗教生活"
如果您是刚刚接触到克里希那穆提，可以发送"克"给我们，您将收到我们整理的关于克里希那穆提生平和教诲的一个简要介绍。另外，发送"关键词"，您将会接收到一个关于关键词自动回复功能的说明。
Questioner: I have fallen in love, but I know there is no future to this relationship. It is a situation I have experienced several times before and I don't want to get involved again in all that misery and chaos. Yet I am desperately unhappy without this person. How can I get myself out of this state?
提问者：我恋爱了，但是我知道这段关系没有未来。这种情形我以前经历过几次，我不想再卷入其中，卷入痛苦和混乱之中。可是没有这个人，我会非常不快乐。我要如何让自己摆脱这种状态？
KRISHNAMURTI: The loneliness, bleakness, wretchedness you feel without this person you love existed before you fell in love. What you call love is merely stimulation, the temporary covering-up of your emptiness. You escaped from loneliness through a person, used this person to cover it up. Your problem is not this relationship but rather it is the problem of your own emptiness. Escape is very dangerous because, like some drug, it hides the real problem. It is because you have no love inside you that you continually look for love to fill you from the outside. This lack of love is your loneliness, and when you see the truth of this you will never again try to fill it with things and people from outside.
克里希那穆提：没 有你所爱的这个人，你所感到的那种孤独、绝望和悲惨，在你恋爱之前就存在了。你所谓的爱，只不过是一种刺激，暂时掩盖了你的空虚。你通过某个人来逃避孤 独，利用这个人来掩盖孤独。你的问题并不在于这段关系，而在于你自身的空虚。逃避非常危险，因为它就像某些药物一样，将真正的问题隐藏了起来。正是因为你 内心没有爱，所以你不停地从外面寻找爱来填满自己。这种爱的缺乏就是你的孤独，而当你看到这个真相，你就再也不会试图用外在的人或事来填补了。
There is a difference between understanding the futility of this escape and deciding not to get involved in this kind of relationship. A decision is no good because it strengthens the thing you are deciding against. Understanding is quite different. Decision is suppression, violence, conflict, but to see that there is this loneliness, this emptiness inside yourself and that any action whatever on the part of the observer to change it only strengthens it―that is understanding. Even calling it loneliness is an action of the observer to get rid of it. Such action changes nothing, it merely strengthens the loneliness, but complete inaction with regard to this loneliness is change. It is going beyond feeling and thinking, sidestepping them. Whatever is happening inside you―anger, depression, jealousy or any other conflict at all―drop it instantly. Stop it.
了 解逃避的无益，与决心不再卷入这种关系，是不同的。下决心毫无益处，因为它会增强你决心反抗的东西。而了解则截然不同。决心是压抑、暴力和冲突；而看到内 心存在这种孤独、这种空虚，并且看到观察者想要对它进行任何改变的行为，都只会增强它――这是了解。甚至称它为孤独，都是观察者想要摆脱的一种行为。这样 的行为什么都改变不了，只会增强孤独，但对这孤独彻底的不行动就是改变。这种改变超越了感情和思想，绕过了感情和思想。你内心无论发生着什么――愤怒、绝 望、嫉妒或者其他任何冲突――即刻丢下它，停止它。
Meeting Life, 'Love, Sex and the Religious Life'
《与生活相遇》之"爱、性及宗教生活"
如果您是刚刚接触到克里希那穆提，可以发送"克"给我们，您将收到我们整理的关于克里希那穆提生平和教诲的一个简要介绍。另外，发送"关键词"，您将会接收到一个关于关键词自动回复功能的说明。
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